Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who has got started Russian that is learning while in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a female dating in Russia while learning the language. This can be a subject We have a great deal to state about myself as I experienced a Russian girlfriend within my dating asiandate amount of time in Kazan that we partly credit with assisting me discover the language so quickly (links to my tale below).
So that it’s interesting to listen to another perspective – especially the one that respects the original values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed to your western as being a cool, difficult destination with a few magical architecture, countless vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and whom, for a few unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The individuals are portrayed into the countless American movies featuring Russians as spies or people in gangs who continue steadily to relate to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is really a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very A russian word! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cool, vodka undoubtedly exists, and calendars featuring A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you can find a thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and individuals.
After residing right here for very long sufficient to get a good glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things that i really want you to know about Russia and Russians:
1. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
That I do not condone any “traditional” view of women that involves domestic violence or any kind of behaviour that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance of the woman’s free will before I get stuck into this point, I want to make it clear.
The things I do desire to say is, as a financially-independent Western girl, I FAVOR that Russian males hold doorways open in my situation which help me down buses.
Do it is expected by me? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it will or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of during my belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Actually Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it reveals that they’re capable of thinking about others. If nothing else, that is definitely a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a vehicle…
It’s a tad bit more complicated outside of the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me straight down through the coach or train. I’m Australian and I also have always been perhaps not yet comfortable leaping down one thing somewhat higher than I’d want it become whenever my landing area is covered in snowfall and ice, therefore it is truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see males women that are helping prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things up the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as if they require keeping the class room home available in my situation. ??
It is additionally just a little bewildering whenever an senior girl rejects my offer to assist her along with her shopping, simply to accept the offer associated with next moving male.
Russia just isn’t a disability place that is friendly numerous methods, thus I do query whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized within the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of requisite and consideration, not quite as due to a far more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I remember the fights that I experienced with lazy/tired Melbourne employees for the train chair whenever I had stitches in my own base and compare it utilizing the Russians jumping down their seats to help anybody somewhat even worse off than on their own, i do believe the western could discover anything or two.
2. The greater old-fashioned view of females that persists in Russia comes with its disadvantages in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being a lady in Russia that we don’t always contribute to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, into the feeling myself and my usual hairstyle is “yes, my hair has been washed recently enough and then left to its own devices” that I don’t spend a ton of time maintaining.
We definitely don’t appearance or scent I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
Some of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to a wide range of occasions.
A few of the feedback are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress like a Russian”
Most are a bit more overt:
“Have you ever considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my attitude is certainly a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t just just just take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these days. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian males choose ladies who will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The Russian man that I’ve been seeing is pleased to cook. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever I remain.
He could be additionally significantly more than happy to use the backseat on almost every other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
No foul it’s a little Pavlovian, but for now I find it cute so no harm.
Another social huge difference that I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils in my own classes have raised their eyebrows more often than once whenever I’ve mentioned hanging out with a friend that is male.
Navigating friendships with Russian guys may be tricky because their motives are usually just a little dissimilar to your personal.
This undoubtedly exists within Western culture, nevertheless the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and kiddies are hot subjects among the moms and dads of solitary individuals within their mid-to-late twenties.