“It’s very puzzling… we was thinking we lesbians are safe”
Perhaps infected them. Each one of these participants reported they’d never ever been with male lovers or had contact with medical transmissions or inserting medication usage (we would not ask if participants had been created with HIV or any other feasible dangers of transmission). Although problematic for them all to comprehend, really the only possible path of transmission and dangerous behavior they could report ended up being intercourse along with other females. All participants additionally reported out they had been infected with HIV and could not understand how it had happened that they were shocked to find. That they had all thought that they were safe because they had only been with women:
“…i really couldn’t know how it simply happened I thought we (lesbians) are safe, and the only person I was sexually active with was also a female because I was fine and. I really couldn’t comprehend… I really couldn’t realize. I possibly couldn’t know the way I possibly could have contracted the herpes virus whenever I had thought I happened to be safe in a real means! ” Zanele, 31 yrs old, Durban
“It’s how you get diseased as a lesbian since it’s actually confusing just how it’s possible. Other females understand from their lovers during penetrative sexual activity then again as a female that is a lesbian whom additionally sleeps with other ladies – it is rather confusing. Which they obtain it” Lebo, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
The individuals’ confusion and disbelief is obvious through the examples that are above. Into the very first quote, Zanele repeats exactly just how she “couldn’t understand” being HIV infected. This feeling of confusion and nearly maybe maybe maybe not believing any particular one is HIV good ended up being a recurring theme for the five individuals whom reported exclusive intimate connections with feamales in their life time. It continues to be uncertain for most of these just exactly exactly how transmission that is possible take place between females.
For those participants, coping with HIV demands constant explanations of how one got www.camsloveaholics.com/male/gay-guys contaminated as assumptions override lived realities. Not just are individuals not able to realize feasible illness on their own, they simultaneously battle to respond to constant concerns from other people about how exactly they are often infected:
“People think that you have got slept with a guy and that is the manner in which you got HIV. It creates my life much much harder because as a lesbian girl whom is HIV good, i have to explain the way I got HIV. ” Bongi, 33 yrs old, Johannesburg
“In the city they raise numerous questions regarding the simple fact they see…my partner is a woman that I am a lesbian and when. Then, `how did I be HIV good once I have always been somebody who really really loves other females? ‘ they ask. Some also get so far as saying it is really not surprising I have you ever heard that a lady and another woman are included? That We have HIV – where have actually” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban
It’s apparent through the above quotes that their HIV good status produces different problems into the lives among these ladies. The constant need to explain an individual’s status to other people implies that you may still find misconceptions about HIV transmission in conjunction with lack of knowledge about same-sex relations.
Determining to reveal
Individuals were additionally asked should they had disclosed their status to anybody aside from the interviewer. Reactions suggest that pretty much all individuals had disclosed to someone, some family relations and friends that are few. Nonetheless, several individuals had just disclosed to 1 or two other people. Some had disclosed to loved ones, buddies and in addition publicly. On the list of participants had been a couple of AIDS activists who had been known within their communities to openly be living with HIV. For all individuals that has disclosed to household members and buddies, disclosure ended up being couched into the language of protection – i.e. Protecting yourself and another from feasible disease:
I still have to do the same for myself“As I would like to protect the next person. I’d nothing like to have re-infected…As very long while you carry on having unsafe sex, it is possible to nevertheless get re-infected. ” Zintle, 22 yrs old, Pretoria
“My mom as well understands (about my HIV status) because if we collapse in front side of her she have to know that she must make use of gloves to assist so she defintely won’t be contaminated” Gugu, 30 yrs old, Durban
All stated the necessity and importance of disclosing to intimate partners while participants may shy away from disclosing to the general public. Central to such disclosure is protecting someone and ensuring she doesn’t get diseased:
“Most associated with partners that I became dating – a lot of them are now HIV negative and we just be sure that they’ll constantly stay HIV negative. I would personallyn’t risk their everyday lives and We just be sure that I mightn’t do just about anything…” Taati, 26 yrs old, Windhoek