I have no idea what his official relationship with her is, but he comes out of this looking pretty crappy re: her. If you are uncomfortable with that – and you also have actually every right to be uncomfortable with that – cut him loose. Published by Catseye at 12:56 have always been on 19, 2013 6 favorites january
That will be much more likely, statistically:
1. Some body cheats on another person then lies about any of it 2. Somebody accocunts for a whole relationship within their mind, connections somebody about this in circumstances of total delusion
I am going with #1. Published by 3491again at 1:20 AM on January 19, 2013 8 favorites
So suppose you had been a part of some guy that is new well since this FWB. Casual thing, no recommendation of cheating. And another time, New man comes to you personally and claims “therefore, uh, this sounds odd, but some body because of the title of Old FWB Guy just contacted me on Twitter and stated he had been the man you’re dating, you kept cheating on him beside me, even if you and him attempted to make it work well after your affair. What’s happening here? “
Would your reaction to that be totally blase? Or even to state you might carry on seeing the guy whom’d simply done that?
You have all of the information you will need relating to this situation.
Using it further than this, in the event that you head to him with questions about his mindset, i believe he can frame this while you being an other woman scorned whom simply could not get an adequate amount of him and whoever feelings he has got no responsibility to take into account. Published by tel3path at 1:51 have always been on January 19, 2013 4 favorites
I confronted him about any of it- he had been completely blase and stated which he knew she had more powerful emotions for him, than he did on her behalf, which he had been not her boyfriend, but that she had been their other FWB. When I asked him her, he said I don’t know- wtf if he was going to continue to see!
I’m not understanding from whence comes the overwhelming summary in this thread that this guy is lying for your requirements and it is news that is bad. This could not be the time that is first’ve seen a multi-partner situation where one celebration is obvious in the FWB component (him) and also the other celebration continues to be saying “boyfriend” (her). So fundamentally: just what this person is saying for you does not hit me as implausible. At all.
I am therefore confused. We decided to a sexual, but casual relationship which was clearly maybe not exclusive.
Well beside me he had been pretty straighforward, At his word, it sounds to me like that’s exactly what you’ve got, and one of his other non-exclusive partners may be having some issues with the definition of “FWB. ” posted by DarlingBri at 3:01 AM on January 19, 2013 unless you have some other reason not to take him
I am a swayed that is little. I’ll amend my reply to state that if your instinct is you are not getting a reasonable therapy from him and therefore he’s really betraying you somehow, that’s shitty.
I suppose something that’s not clear is the fact that also that you could both pursue other partners – that your arrangement was “a sexual, but casual relationship that was explicitly not exclusive” – had you agreed with each other that you would disclose other partnerships though it seems to have been true? Or even, i can not see what he actually did incorrect. This really is into it between him and the other partner, despite her attempt to drag you.
Then there was a betrayal, because you didn’t know about Partner #1 when you became Partner #2 if you did. And Partner # 1 did not understand since he was probably lying to her – until recently, it sounds like about you- which is really worse. It appears from her and she was a secret from you, she may have had more hopes for the relationship, and when she found out about you she must have assumed it was a recent short-term affair, since 
you say she didn’t know you had been FWB that long with him like you were a secret. Therefore she thinks all ended up being going swimmingly before you arrived. Whenever, needless to say, what was really occurring is the fact that guy ended up being sleeping with you both.
It is most likely impractical to diagnose the nature that is actual of relationship also by piecing together each of these conflicting accounts. They’ve been giving you really perspectives that are different and thus it may certainly be confusing about which to trust or whether to trust exactly just what the man states. But we still believe that that does not actually make a difference if you did not have an understanding to disclose other lovers you had been pursuing. This might be amongst the two of those, and whatever it works away in the years ahead can also be amongst the two of those. He could be considered a shady, awful man, which seems feasible, however the thing to have un-confused about continues to be exacltly what the very very own demands have been in a relationship, also an easy FWB one. It’s ok to not ever trust him even when all of the evidence you have got is you simply feel just like one thing’s fishy. You do not owe anbody your trust and you may revoke it whenever you want. You might even move away simply because it appears as though the problem is just a little drama-filled and that is maybe perhaps not your look. That you don’t absolutely need an explanation. We’d state the thing that is main to take into account your objectives and what you will really require and accept as time goes by. You guys were not regarding the same web page. Published by Miko at 6:14 AM on January 19, 2013 2 favorites
“I do not understand whom to think. If she had been truly his gf, it is not an individual i might also be friends with, never ever mind the advantages! If they were fwb and she fell for him then that is a unique situation… Do I need to simply drop him? Will there be any real option to get during the truth?
You say which you have actually a friends-with-benefits relationship. But just how long had been you buddies with him for before it became clear that each one of you had been thinking about great things about any sort? Had been the context by which you came across him one out of which buddies would satisfy, or ended up being it one out of which individuals would date and possibly connect?
I believe the center for the issue the following is that it is probably you entered as a non-serious relationship that is sexual some body you truly did not understand. You called it one thing you felt confident with, the good news is you aren’t therefore certain. Now you think about the character and integrity of the clearly maybe not exclusive “friend” to be always a dealbreaker that is potential. You can’t make an educated judgment on that, since you do not really understand him all that well.
After which he claims “I do not know”, in relation to whether he could be gonna see her. This means, yes he can, if he is able to. If she will allow him. If you’ll allow him. In the event that perceived price of performing this is significantly less than the advantages. He likes making love with various ladies. Whom states it’s simply you two? There might have now been a few more females which he led on in order to get them to fall asleep with him, simply to cool off once they started getting severe. That you do not understand, however the probability of that is that which you subscribed to by having a explicitly maybe maybe not relationship that is exclusive.
I’m polyamorous / non-monogamous. Were openly therefore for around 15 years. Nearly all of that time we’ve lived with my spouse sufficient reason for one of two other lovers. One for approximately 7 years, and something going back eighteen months or more. Been with my spouse for approximately 23 years. Therefore I have actually a pretty track that is good for very long, fairly healthy poly relationships.